This April it'll be thirteen years since Sofia died or in more blunt terms we made the decision to end all life support. She maybe could've lasted a couple of days or even a week, we'll never know, but as her mom I knew it was time and that holding on would be for me and not her. Besides the end result would be the same. And from now on she will be gone for more years than she was alive! How is that possible??
April 3, 2012 was and will be the worst day of my life.
I can still remember every word I said to her: How it was a privilege and honor to be her mom, how hard it was to say good bye but that we would be OK, to please watch over Gabi, and how I loved her with all my heart and soul.. I kissed her, held her hand and when it was over I walked away to face a world without her.
I would never be the same but I had to try.
For Sofia, and how she lived her life refusing to let cancer or her heart issues define her or her life. For Gabi, who deserved the same mom she'd had since they day she was born. A mom she needed now more than ever. To be an example for her of how to handle adversity and not let it defeat you. And for me.
Have I succeeded? Depends on the day, week or month you ask me. I've done my best and given it my all. Don't think I can ask for more.
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